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Navigating the Stress of Trying to Conceive
There’s no doubt that trying to conceive and undergoing fertility treatments can be among the most stressful experiences in a person's life. The uncertainty, the waiting,the conflicting opinions and the endless questions can make the process feel overwhelming. The difficulty in finding qualified specialists to answer these questions only exacerbates the stress and anxiety.
The Journey
If one had to describe the fertility journey in a word, in all likelihood, the most common word would be “stressful”. You might find yourself constantly wondering: Will my period come? Did I ovulate this month? When should I see a fertility specialist? Is there anything more I can do to increase my chances of getting pregnant? The repeated trips to the bathroom to pee on a stick, hoping for those two lines, and the frequent doctor visits for ultrasounds, blood work, and medications can be exhausting. Even talking to friends and family that have naturally conceived can be extraordinarily aggravating. The most common suggestions are usually to “not stress” and “keep trying”. While well meaning, this advice is seldom useful and even less calming. De-stressing is important, and it is critical that you find activities and methods to do that.
Stress & Fertility
Trying to get pregnant is undoubtedly stressful. Research shows that coping with infertility could be as stressful as a cancer diagnosis. However, the idea that stress directly causes infertility is still debated. While some studies link the stress hormone cortisol to pregnancy rates, these findings are not widely confirmed. Stress is a part of everyday life, but it can feel amplified when you're trying to conceive. Identifying and managing fertility-related stressors can help you navigate this challenging time more effectively.
Awareness of Passing Time
The waiting game is a significant stressor when trying to conceive—waiting for your period, test results, or doctor’s appointments can feel like life is on hold. While you can't control the waiting, you can control how you spend that time. Engage in activities that support your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.
Access to Information
Social media and online searches can be both a blessing and a curse. The comparison trap on social media can take an emotional toll. If social media affects you negatively, consider taking a break from it. Regarding online medical information, seek out reputable sources like Reproductive Facts or Resolve, and always look for research-backed statements.
Lack of Emotional Support
As mentioned above, well-meaning family and friends may offer advice that isn’t helpful. Communicate your needs clearly, and don’t hesitate to take space if needed. The emotional burden of trying to conceive often falls more heavily on women, which can lead to discord in relationships. Recognize these differences and develop coping strategies that support each other.
If your healthcare provider doesn’t offer resources for emotional support, ask for them. Consider joining a local support group or seeking counseling if it feels right for you.
Everyday Stress Relief When Trying to Conceive
Developing everyday strategies for resilience is critical. Consistency is key, and even a few minutes a day can have a significant impact. Here are some of our favorite stress relief strategies:
Get a workout in!
Spending time outside can be incredibly rejuvenating. A study by the EPA found that the average American spends 93% of their time indoors. Change that by going for a walk, a hike, or simply sitting in the sun. This can boost your vitamin D and serotonin levels, improving your mood and sleep. Regular exercise can help you feel better and release endorphins. Whether it’s a dance class, a spin session, or weight lifting, find an activity that you enjoy and that makes your body feel good.
Balancing Work
Balancing fertility treatments with work can feel like a full-time job. Allow yourself grace in knowing that you can't give 110% to everything all the time.
Journaling
Journaling can help you process difficult emotions and improve your mood and overall well-being. Starting and ending your day by writing down things you're grateful for can develop a positive mindset.
Meditation & Yoga
Mind-body techniques like meditation can improve your quality of life and reduce anxiety and depression. Many apps like Calm or Headspace are great starting points. Intentional breathing can be done anytime you feel stress bubbling up. The 4-7-8 breathing technique is simple and effective: Inhale through your nose for 4 counts, hold for 7, and exhale slowly for 8 counts.
Yoga has been shown to improve self-compassion, mindfulness, and quality of life while reducing depressive symptoms and stress. You don’t need any special equipment, and you can find plenty of free videos on YouTube to get started.
Social Gatherings
Spending time with friends who don’t understand your situation can be challenging, as can attending baby showers, birthday parties and holiday parties. It may be confusing as to whether you suddenly dislike people you have loved all of your life. But it's okay to decline invitations if they are too emotionally taxing for you. Prioritize your mental health, and surround yourself with supportive friends who understand your journey.
Stress while inevitable can be dealt with
Your fertility journey comes with unique challenges and stressors. Implementing a plan for everyday resilience and managing common fertility-related stressors can make a significant difference. Remember to seek trusted information, reach for support when needed, say no more often, embrace your feelings, and destress in a way that works best for you.
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